Two households, both alike in dignity

The differences between Macon Dead II's and Pilate's households are drastic, especially when you consider that they are siblings and that he practically raised her.   The Dead household, although the traditional, nuclear (or nucular, if you're George W. Bush) family, is a significantly more, well, dead household than Pilate's is.  Pilate's household is full of singing, storytelling, and joking around, while it seems that everyone in the Dead household (especially Milkman) does anything they can to get out of it, and if they can't get out of it, then they will try and stay cooped up in their rooms.  There is no family grape-squashing time in the Dead household.  Also, the Dead household is a patriarchy, while Pilate is a strong matriarch.  Macon Dead II is the head of his house, and he is incredibly strict and cold towards his family.  Pilate, on the other hand, has a hard exterior, but if hiding a soft heart underneath.  For example, she jokes around with Milkman a lot, seemingly making fun of him, but we can tell that it is all in good fun, and that she really does care about him.

Another significant difference is the way that the two households are seen/treated by outsiders.  Macon Dead II's house is the biggest, nicest one in town.  He is rich, and feared by most of the townsfolk, who look up to him only because they are afraid of him and in awe of his money, not because they truly respect him.  He runs a successful and reputable business, and does everything he can to make sure his family, house, and other possessions are respectable too.  Pilate is almost the exact opposite of this.  She essentially lives in the ghetto, and has the disreputable job of making wine.  Her house is falling apart and she does not have any large, steady source of income.  However, she is still one of the most respected people in her community, because of her caring,  her guts, and her strength.  We can see their differences most clearly laid out in their respective most dramatic scenes.  For Macon Dead II, it is when he is talks to the drunk Porter.  Porter is wasted and threatening to kill himself, but instead of worrying about that, Macon simply demands that Porter pay him the rent he owes him.  People gather to watch the scene going on, but we can tell that, although people are fascinated by the way Macon is interacting with Porter, none of them respect him for it, they are all just scared of him.  In Pilates dramatic scene, she goes out into her backyard with a knife to confront a guy who has been harassing Reba.  Pilate does stab him, but only enough to draw blood - not enough to seriously hurt him.  In addition, throughout the whole scene, Pilate stays incredibly calm and composed; we can almost hear the cool, dangerously-calm tone of voice she has when we read the book.  Like with Macon, people gather around to watch the dramatics, and like with him, they are scared of her (c'mon, it's a pissed-off woman with a knife).  However, there is much more of an air of deep respect and approval in the air with Pilate's scene.  This may be in part because with Macon, he is driven by his greed to go and confront Porter, while with Pilate, it is simply out of love for her daughter.

The final way in which we can see differences in the households is in the way the women/children are treated.  Obviously, in the matriarchal household, the women are going to be treated with more respect.  However, think about the fact that Pilate's house is in a sketchier part of town, and there aren't any "strong, brave men around to protect and care for the innocent, weak females," but, there is a lot more caring going on in her household, than in the one with two guys and in a nice part of town.  We can obviously see this in the scene where Pilate confronts Reba's (ex) lover with a knife, however, this can also be seen at other times, like when they are all squishing the grapes for wine and simply having a good time, or when Macon Dead II walks past the house, but is drawn back to it by the singing and the warmth emanating from it.  Even Lena, during her tirade against Milkman, plainly says that the women in their house have been caring for the men for all of those years, but the men (specifically Milkman) have never once cared for the females.

However, the biggest difference between Pilate's and Macon Dead II's households, the most obvious and the most important one, is that Pilate's household has love, and the Dead household does not.  It's obvious why Milkman wants to spend so much time there (besides the sex); he actually feels loved and cared for when he’s around Pilate.  He almost feels like he has a mother.